Is Programming In My Blood?

I’m wondering… if I went back as an employee, to be a programmer again, can I make it again?  I mean, am I a competitive programmer?  I hadn’t worked in a company with many programmers.  I can’t compare myself to others.  I think my analysis is way better than those who are even 5 years older than me.  But I can’t compete with those who are about 10 years older than me.  Yeah self confidence hahaha.  But the real thing is, I want to make it in a big company.  I want to have a very competitive salary that matches my skill.

My husband is giving me a hint to go back to work.  I then give him a hint my plans if I go back to work.  I won’t be able to take care of Ivan.  No more of those absences and excuses.  There would only be work work work.  If I would go back to work, as what’s my husband wanted for me to plan, I would target for a big salary, just like other programmers.  I told him of the consequences.  He answered and said so be it.  I’m thinking, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, he would say that I don’t have conscience because I’m not able to attend on Ivan’s feelings.

I don’t want to go back to work.  I would try something so I won’t need to go back to work.

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